Stories About Christ:
From the People of FNL

Video Transcript: Caylee - Never Too Far Gone

Hi, my name is Kaylee. I'm 21 and I study Christian Studies at Liberty University. Mental illness was something that I struggled with most of my life. It started with anxiety in elementary school quickly escalated to depression in middle school. My battle with depression felt unbearable and never-ending.

Fast forward to August 2021. I was a junior in high school, and my life finally started to feel happier. I had just gotten into a relationship, and I had a pretty good group of friends. One night, though, we were at a party and I ended up alone, and one of my best friends at the time had come over and attempted suicide in a very gruesome way, five feet in front of me.

And so because of that, I replayed the image of that night over and over and over again, and I couldn't get it out. The trauma of that was unbearable, so at the time, the best way to cope was to cling on to my then boyfriend. And I put him on the pedestal of my life. My identity and worth was shaped around him, everything him. So if he was happy, I was happy. If he was sad, I was sad. It became very toxic.

After a few years, though, we broke up and all of the trauma that I talked away came flooding to the surface. And because of that, I felt abandoned, alone, and I just felt like no one cared. My mind was split between, I didn't even believe that God was real, but if he was real, I hated him because of the things that I felt he was putting me through.

And so I developed an eating disorder, and I lost 50 pounds. I became addicted to pills, certain pills and substances, to the point where I was never sober. And I found my worth in guys and sex. And because the result of that was I contracted a sexually transmitted disease that I was going to have for the rest of my life. I thought, I was convinced that no one was ever going to love me after that. So I thought my best option was to take my own life.

And so the night of November 10th, 2024, as I was sitting there thinking about how and when I was gonna do it, I had a thought, a small thought in the back of my mind say there was one more option that I hadn't tried yet. And so in that moment, I closed my eyes and I called on Jesus.

And it was in that moment for the first time that I truly realized that I was a sinner in need of a Savior and that the hole in my heart that I tried to fill with everything else I was never able to, and that the only person who could was Jesus. I was obviously sobbing and begging God to forgive me of all my sins and in that moment, God flooded me with a sense of peace that I'll never be able to describe as it was flowing through my body. My eyes were closed and I was overcome with like this bright light and I saw a hand come down, and ever since then, I knew that God saved my life physically and spiritually.

And my life hasn't been the same since he freed me from all the mental illness and addictions that I was chained to. And he gave me a new heart and identity that's rooted in who he says I am. And he didn't give me what I actually deserve, but instead he gifted me with everything that I don't deserve. And so for that reason, I love and follow Jesus.

And a message or a takeaway that I want people to hear from my testimony is that you're never too far gone. People say that all the time, and I used to roll my eyes when people would say that, but it's genuinely true. I didn't clean myself up for Jesus. He actually met me at my darkest, most vulnerable moment and saved my life and turned it around completely. So, yeah, that's my testimony.